Expecting

Two lines on a pregnancy test. Morning sickness. A growing belly, and pants that don’t fit quite like they used to. All signs that you are expecting a child. There is no hiding it, within a few months everyone will know. Pregnancy is the visible reminder of a hidden promise; a child is coming! You can be walking on the street, or sitting in a coffee shop, talking to your friends. Your body cannot hide the journey it is on, all can see that you are about to become a mom. Your body is different; you feel nauseas, your waistline increases, you get indigestion, and you start to feel butterflies that turn into miniature kicks. You know and feel the coming of your child every day.

But what if you are expecting but you are not pregnant? My husband and I are adopting a baby this year and are going through our screening process. It is an interesting journey when you are going to become a mother, but no one else can see. You look the same, you dress the same, you FEEL the same. But, you are different.

You want everyone to know what you are going through and feeling, but no one will know unless you say something about it. There is no proof, no evidence of the journey. There is no tummy to guess how far along you are, there is no 9 month time span, no due date, no physical reminder of where you are in the process. And so you are different, you are changed, but still the same.

This “expecting” has reminded me of the true meaning of faith. The Bible says faith is “the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see “ (Hebrews 11:1 NLT).

Sometimes it is hard for me to fully comprehend that I am going to be a Mom. I’m sure there is a similar feeling when you are pregnant, but at least your stomach is a reminder that your life will soon change. Other than my thoughts, hopes and desires which look forward to my child coming, nothing else is different. And yet, my faith is stronger than ever. Never before have I had to cling to faith, sure of its outcome. I cannot see evidence of my baby, but I am certain that he or she is on their way. I am confident that the child I am hoping and praying for will actually come. And so, without any proof, I am expecting…in faith.

“But hope that is seen is no hope at all. For who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently” (Romans 8: 24-25)

Now to work on the ‘patiently’ part…